There are 3 stages of human growth, namely dependent, independent, and interdependent. Our role as parents is to guide children to grow according to the stage they are going through.
Dependent Stage
The dependency stage occurs when children are from babies to children, even to adolescence when they still live with their parents. In the dependent phase, parents have a dominant role as providers of children’s needs, both physical and psychological needs.
When children are still small and completely dependent on us, our role is to provide physical security and psychological comfort, as well as provide appropriate stimulation for them to grow.
The challenge for parents in this situation is not to use their authority to manipulate their children. The ideal role of parents is to help children build their self-confidence and prepare them to grow up to be independent.
Independent Stage
The growth process will lead children to independence, both independence of identity as individuals and independence in working and contributing.
Identity independence begins to be sought by children since pre-adolescence, around 9-10 years old. Children seek an identity that is different from that defined by their parents and begin to carry out small rebellions. Children no longer want to be dictated to and parents begin to be unable to order them to enforce their wishes.
To reach the independent stage in terms of creative and contributing skills, the process is very long. Usually this process is carried out in schools.
The important role of parents when children begin to enter the independent stage is to help children gain a healthy personal identity, build character, attitudes and skills to work in society.
Interdependent stage
The process that parents need to build is to prepare children to empathize and be able to see the wider world that is not only filled with their ego and interests.
In an interdependent world, children feel comfortable being independent but at the same time aware that they are part of a wider world. In an interdependent world, everyone plays a role, giving and receiving from each other.
This stage does not just happen. To build awareness of this stage, parents need to build it early on, when the child is still in the dependent phase until entering the independent phase. If this process is successful, the child will be able to raise his personal quality towards the interdependent phase and not become selfish.
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